Not a stress fracture.
Scratch that. It was a stress fracture. TEN YEARS AGO.
This was my old stress fracture. Long healed.
Had it been a current stress
fracture, it would have been bright white on the MRI.
What I did have was a mild case of capsulitis of the hip and a bad
case of hypochondria. One of these
ailments was cured within seven days using a steady course of ibuprofen. The other is more chronic.
(Guys, I almost went and bought crutches! The doctor already thought I was crazy. Imagine what he would have thought if I had hobbled
in to have my MRI results read with crutches under my armpits.)
So now that the inflammation of my joint capsule has
subsided and my hypochondria is under control for now, I am back to running. My plan is to run the Queen Bee--ladies
only!--half marathon in October.
Unless something else sneaks up on me.
11) Join Toastmasters: One of the reasons I didn’t go to Walgreens
and buy a pack of crutches before having my MRI results read is because I knew
that I had to give my first Toastmasters talk on May 19th. Let me clarify—the main reason I didn’t buy
crutches is because I’m cheap. A
secondary reason is because I didn’t want to have to crutch my way to the
podium to deliver my first speech.
I was nervous ahead of time, but it went pretty smoothly and
I look forward to my second speech, which I’m calling “How to be the Life of the
Party: An Introvert’s Guide.”
While I can talk all day about being an introvert, I have no
idea how to be the life of the party so I’m open to suggestions here.
I asked Donnie for ideas and the best tip he could come up
with was “Don’t stand at the appetizer table and stuff your face.”
So far my speech reads like this: “Show up.
Don’t stuff your face.”
Obviously, I’ve got a lot of work to do.
5) Plant My Own Herbs: Ever since the end of February, Donnie has been
pestering me about getting some mulch for the yard. I kept telling him that since it was our
first year in the house, we should skip the mulch and just see what comes up
naturally.
Actually I think what I really said was that if I heard the
word “mulch” one more time before the Ides of May I would blow a gasket.
I’m glad we waited because we had some nice surprises:
peonies, lilies, bleeding heart, lots of pretty ground cover.
What didn’t sprout spontaneously was a big basil bush, but I
realize that would have been asking too much.
So yesterday I went to Lowe’s and got a few packets of
seeds:
I sprinkled all three seed packets into a pot with some
potting soil and put ¼ inch of soil on top.
One pack probably would have done the trick but I really want a GIANT
BASIL BUSH and I figured three packs will make me three times as likely to
succeed. I've watched enough TLC shows about multiple births to know how these things work.
The little pot is not chives, by the way, it’s one of many succulents
I loaded onto my flatbed at Lowe's. These
are the only kind of plant I’ve ever had any success at keeping alive long term
and I figured a new batch of them might inspire my little basil seeds to
sprout.
7) Update My Style: Being five feet tall presents a few style
challenges. Jeans, for example, are
usually a disaster that require expensive alterations or a classy “roll em up”.
But the most elusive piece is the maxi dress. I’ve tried on maxi dresses before and stared
sadly in the dressing room mirror at yards of fabric pooling at my feet. It seems silly to pay for alterations on what
might as well be a bathing suit coverup.
So needless to say, the maxi dress trend train has rolled right by me
for the past three years.
Until I discovered the “adjustable” maxi dress:
This one from Old Navy has a drawstring around the rib cage
that I can manipulate in such a way that the whole thing barely brushes the
floor once I’ve put on heels. It’s not
perfect, but it’s a maxi dress.
While at Old Navy, I also found this stretchy cotton A-line
for $10. I think these skirts were
intended for hipsters to tuck their striped shirts into, but I wore mine to
work with a leopard print blouse and a black cardigan:
30) Give up Diet Coke: A few weeks ago I went to a daytime birthday
party and there were multiple 2-Liter bottles of Diet Coke, tall Styrofoam cups,
and an ice bucket. In the past, this combination
would have been an invitation for me to consume my weight in the brown
stuff. Instead, I had a bottle of Poland
Spring.
And then felt like I deserved some kind of medal. Because nothing will make a person feel self-righteous
like 1) turning away from their vices and 2) consuming their recommended daily
intake of water.
This is the year.
-K.
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