The Top Antique-shopping, Bulk-buying Yogi in Cincinnati

I feel like over the past eight weeks I’ve developed some habits that will stay with me—buying in bulk, yoga, antiquing. 

For example, I went to the Mid-Century Modern show at the Sharonville Convention Center on my birthday (#16), and was able to say to a vendor that I was looking for “four two-toned DCW’s.” Tell me that’s not proof of a lady who knows her antiques.   

 

I didn’t find what I was looking for, but I did leave with these 1940’s anatomical diagrams:

Because everyone needs a good nervous system in their dining room.

I have also continued to explore different local yoga schools (#6).  Last week I went to a class at the Covington Yoga School where the teacher coached me out of standing up straight out of a backbend (backbend not pictured, for obvious reasons).

 

 

Most importantly, I’ve mastered the art of buying in bulk (#12):

There are four more bottles in the fridge.

Shut up.

Now, I know I’ve been basically doing the same things over and over this year.  I’m probably in the running for the top antique-shopping, bulk-buying yogi in Cincinnati.  I’m starting to bore myself.  Next month I promise to take on a few of the items that really push me outside my comfort zone.  Because that's what this year is about.  Even if it requires wearing something other than yoga pants. 

 

-K.

#14) Sharpen My Knives

Selective laziness.  That’s the only way to explain this. 

I have no problem creating a meal plan two weeks in advance and wiping down the sink and shower after every use.  But when it comes to sharpening my knives I have been seriously unmotivated. 

We received this knife set for our wedding almost seven years ago.  We’ve used it probably every day since.  It even comes with its own sharpener!  One time I pulled it out of its slot and gave one of the knives a quick swipe but it made a horrible nails-on-chalkboard sound and I wasn’t sure if I was doing it right so I put it back. 

Every so often I would have this nagging thought about how the flavor of our onions and herbs might be better if I bothered to sharpen the knives, but I would quickly push the thought to the back of mind where it could lurk next to the names of all five New Kids on the Block and the recipe for a Diet Coke cake.

But this is the year.

I purchased this “Wusthof Universal Knife Sharpener” at Home Goods and saved the task for a rainy day.  Just for giggles, I Googled “how to sharpen knives” and came across this Jamie Oliver video where he demonstrates how to use the kind of long steel knife sharpener that came in my knife set. 

 

I decided to make a game of it and have the “Wusthof Universal Knife Sharpener” compete against the Jamie Oliver method. 

Up first was the Wusthof, which was pretty easy to use.  You set it flat on a surface and run the knife between a groove a few times.  It has a setting for standard and Asian knives.  I wasn't sure what kind of knives I had, but I assumed they were standard and went with that. 

The Jamie Oliver method requires more precision—you have to run the knife at a 10 degree angle from base to point on both sides of the steel pole.  It’s not hard, but it makes an evil noise.  Like someone scraping their fork and knife against a plate while you’re trying to enjoy your dinner.  But worse, if you can imagine that.

After sharpening one knife with the Wusthof and another one using Jamie’s method I put them to the test on a couple spaghetti squashes which I needed for a spaghetti squash “mac and cheese”.  The recipe assumes you know how to dissect a spaghetti squash, which I didn’t, so first I had to do a little more Googling to figure it out. 

I found this warning:

Muscle and a sharp knife or cleaver.  Got 'em.

Using the knife that I had sharpened on the Wusthof I easily sliced the first squash clean down the middle.  Easy peasy.  No muscle required.   

When I attempted to use the knife that I had sharpened with Jamie Oliver method, I didn’t have as much luck:

Now I can’t say for sure that it was totally the knife’s fault.  This squash did have some vines growing inside of it, like it might have decided to grow a fetus in fetu. 

This is where I should stop and say that I will never carve a pumpkin.  Slicing this squash felt dangerous enough—so much so that I briefly wondered if I should put off the task until Donnie got home in case I stabbed myself.  I don’t know how people—especially children—manage to wield knives against pumpkins and not end up covered in blood. 

I called a rematch and put the knives head to head against a pile of carrots, and then some lettuce. 

 

The knives were both a thousand times better than they were before I sharpened them, but I was still unable to tell the difference between them so I put them up against the ultimate test—the onion. 

Experts always say that if you dice an onion with a dull knife you crush the cells that give it flavor.  Or maybe they say that about basil.  I don’t know, but I still couldn’t tell the difference. 

It doesn’t matter though, because not having to listen to the horrible noise that the steel pole makes is reason enough to use the Wusthof.  Now that I’ve crossed this item off my to-do list there will be a lot more spaghetti squash in my future. 

But no pumpkins.

 

 

-K. 

 

This is Not the Year: Master Gift Giving

Of all the things that were not on my list this year, there is one that I am regretting: improve my gift giving. 

I’m just not good at giving gifts.  It’s so stressful!  I agonize over whether people will like what I’ve chosen and usually end up delegating the task to Donnie or just not getting anything.  There is nothing that I like more than a good old-fashioned registry. 

People say that you can learn to be a better gift-giver by writing down a list of ideas when people mention off-hand that they like something or that they wish they had a [insert random item].  This is fine and good but what if they go ahead and purchase this thing for themselves before I get the chance to give it to them?  Now I’ve given them something they already have.  Awk-ward!

I also find it hard to think of something to get someone that if they really wanted they wouldn’t just go ahead and purchase for themselves.  We’re all adults here—if you need something there is nothing stopping you from logging onto Amazon and adding it to your cart. 

But on Valentine’s Day, I thought I nailed it:

I had come home from Trader Joe’s about a week ago and Donnie was pouting that I hadn’t picked up a bag of his favorite peanut butter pretzels.  So when I saw this tub of them at World Market for $6.99 I was feeling pretty good about it.  It is something I knew he would like, something he probably wouldn’t purchase for himself, and it fell squarely within our $10 limit.  I even put it in a pink gift bag with tissue paper. 

Great.  Except this is what he got me:

A month’s worth of haikus.  That he wrote himself.  Using his creative writing degree.  "To welcome winter's end."

Whoops.

Luckily, he saw the humor in the inequity and we had a good long laugh before he ate the entire bin of pretzels in one sitting.  He even gave me a few of them. 

Next year: improve my gift giving.

 

-K. 

Days 40-43: Loose as a Goose

#4)  Loosen Up:  I got a Subway sandwich on Tuesday evening and found a hair it in.  On Wednesday evening I went back and got another sandwich from the same shop. 

If that’s not playing it fast and loose, I don’t know what is. 

#6)  Study Yoga:   You guys, I think yoga is bothering my knee.  It’s either that or #29 (the Stand-Up Desk).  Or being  almost thirty-one is catching up with me. 

Help. 

I did find this book at a resale shop for $2.00:

After reading this I want to do Baron Baptiste’s one-week yoga retreat in Sedona so bad.  Unfortunately, I don’t think a $4000 week of downward dogs is in my short-term financial plan.  A $2.00 used book, yes.  A $60 Groupon, eh.  An unnecessary week of self-indulgence, no. 

Hell no. 

 #16) Go Antiquing:  I’ve been in Columbus this week for work and without my regular day-to-day responsibilities (watering the pets, making oatmeal, being compulsively bossy) I’ve had an hour in the evenings to kill.  Yesterday I thought I’d check out some of the antique shops on Short North. 

First, I stopped at Jeni’s Ice Cream and fueled up while doing some reading for book club (#15).  I got the coffee ice cream and the “chocomole” flavor, which is a spicy chocolate with corn chips.  

Afterwards, I was kind of absentmindedly browsing one of the consignment shops and I almost tripped over this guy: 

Oh my word.  Did someone really have this nightmare in their living room? 

Can you imagine what Zola Budd would do if I brought this home?  She is scared of the sound that the iron makes, which makes me think if she saw this she would instantly lose her bowels.  For that, I could not blame her.

At another store, I found this display of old kitchenware that looks like a color-coordinated episode of Hoarders:

This room is a reminder of why "loosen up" is on my list.  Because I'm afraid that my OCD could some day spiral out of control and my kitchen could look like this. 

After all this, I needed a Diet Coke (#30).  And a Subway sandwich.  

 

-K. 

 

 

Entertain: Ladies Wine Exchange

#22) Entertain!

Saturday’s “Ladies Wine Exchange” was at my house, but I have to give credit to Maggie for the idea, which is brilliant plan for a structured gathering.  Here’s how it works.  Each person brings two bottles of the same wine.  At the beginning of the party, you line up one set of the wines in order—whites first and then reds in order of progressive “strength.”  Or something.  Acidity?  Tannin?  Legs?  Honestly, I don’t know.  Olivia took on the task of lining up the wines and did a great job.   Just have someone who knows something about wine set the order. 

Next, the person who brought the first wine reads the description on the label and tells how they selected it.  The wine is passed around and each person pours themselves a little (or a big) taste.  Do this for each of the wines while eating so many hors d’oeurves you are left with no choice but to unbutton your pants.  We had cheese, grapes, apples, nuts, crudités, guacamole, hummus, mini toasts with brie and jam, Indian-spiced paneer cheese balls, chips, olives, bread sticks, toffee, 5-bean salad.  So. Much. Food. 

Once all of the wines have been tasted, each person draws a number.  Then, you basically follow the rules of a white elephant gift exchange to divvy out the unopened bottles.  The person with the lowest number selects their favorite, but the next person can “steal” from them or choose from the stash.  Repeat until everyone has had their turn and has a bottle to take home. 

It was fun to learn about people’s preferences for wine.  I also paid more attention to the differences between the wines than I have in any other wine tasting I have been to since I knew I would need to be sharp when it came time to choose my favorite to keep.  I ended up with a wine called Tarima Monastrell , which is bottled in Mariemont, Ohio.   It’s something I would not have thought to choose at the store, but I really love it!

I also ended up with seven half-empty bottles of wine that we didn’t finish.  Except that in my mind, they are seven half-full bottles that I will enjoy for many evenings to come:

The wine exchange was the day before Maggie’s 31^st birthday, so I made some wheat berry brownies, which have more antioxidants than pomegranates!   At least that’s what the lady who was promoting the box of mix at Rempke told me.   So it may or may not be true. 

If it’s not true, I may not be able to justify what I had for breakfast this morning:

(Not pictured:  three additional brownies)

Anyway, I had so much fun at the Ladies Wine Exchange.  It included all of my favorite things--a little game, structure, wine, education, food, rules, and some of my favorite people.  In fact, it made me want to entertain every weekend.   Zola and Emer agree.  Look at how they were eagerly awaiting our guests when I told them who was on the way: 

 

My goal is to get to the place where I entertain so often I don't feel like I have to spend two hours cleaning before people arrive. 

Scratch that.  "Not cleaning" is probably not an acceptable goal.  This is not the year. 


-K.

Days 33-37: Toilet Paper and the Dentist

#1) Run a Half Marathon:  This weather is a sick joke and my half-marathon training is the punchline.  I ran Tuesday morning before the ice storm cometh and then on Saturday morning with the Pleasant Ridge runners club.  A grand total of nine miles for the week.  Let’s not talk about it. 

Instead, just look at this picture of me in my crossing guard costume:

#6) Study yoga:  My other idea for a blog this year was “My Year of Groupon Workouts.”  This item is sort of turning into that.  This week a co-worker and I bought a 60 days for $60 pass for Modo Hot Yoga in Clifton.  Modo and the Cincinnati Yoga School are about as different from each other as two yoga studios can be.  The Cincinnati Yoga School feels deep and serious while Modo is more commercial.  Modo offers a “brand” of yoga that is environmentally and socially conscious but that feels clearly like a brand.  Maybe it’s just this location on the University of Cincinnati’s campus, but amidst all of the undergraduate students I always feel like the old lady in the room.   

The heat does help to open up some of the fascia in my hips and shoulders and it does feel really good on days when you’re chilled to the bone. 

Maybe feeling like an old lady has less to do with my age and more to do with sentences like the one I just typed. 

I was going to go to the 2:00 class today but instead I'm sitting here looking at Facebook and eating flax seed chips.  Because it's too cold to go to hot yoga. 

#8) Go to the dentist every six months: I had my first appointment at my new Pleasant Ridge dentist on Tuesday.  Well, I thought it was Tuesday.  When I showed up at 3:00 to sign the new patient paperwork the receptionist informed me that my appointment had actually been on Monday.  I had missed it. 

This is not like me at all.  I am a compulsive scheduler.  In this case, I think I must have subconsciously written down the wrong date on purpose because I didn’t want to go.  But as my luck would have it, there was a cancelation and they were able to fit me in anyway.  Overall, the experience was actually pretty nice.  There was a television in the exam room so I got to watch Say Yes to the Dress on TLC while they scraped my teeth.  While I was there, I scheduled my next visit.  

Anybody still with me?  I know reading two paragraphs about my dentist appointment is exactly how you were hoping to spend your afternoon.

#19) Attend our Community Council Meetings:  The day of my dentist appointment was also supposed to be the day of the Pleasant Ridge Community Council meeting but it was canceled on account of the ice storm.  Instead, I spent the evening catching up on Teen Mom.  Because clearly #31 “Cancel Cable” is a high priority.   

#12) Buy in Bulk:  Did you know that Trader Joe’s has really good deals on toilet paper?  I bought a giant pack for less than what I normally spend on eight rolls at my regular grocery store.  The only problem was I got it home and didn’t know where to put it.  Lacking a ton of storage space in my bathroom, I made a tall toilet paper tower in one corner of the closet:

Here is a close-up:

Someone should probably pin this.  

Days 26-32: And a Potato-Crust Quiche Flex-ipe

Another Polar Vortex. In the midst of it I did a lot of yoga and refused to run.  Because who wants to end up like this guy?

During this time I built a stand up desk (#29) and read the first 100 pages of The Book Thief (#15).  I made a new Pinterest board called "Appetizers and Entertaining: Since You Can't Just Serve People Booze" (#22). 

I also made this green pepper quiche-thing which I want to share here even though it has nothing to do with my list.  You will need:

·         6-10 small yellow potatoes

·         Green pepper (or some other veggie)

·         Handful of chopped red onion

·         7-8 eggs

·         Parmesan cheese (or some other cheese, obviously this is a flex-ipe)

·         Olive Oil and Butter

·         Salt, Pepper, Dried Chives

Start with a bunch of small yellow potatoes, slicing most of them into slim round circles but two or three of them into long slices.  Soften them in olive oil over medium-high heat, adding salt, pepper, and lots of chives.  I did about five minutes on each side, in two batches. 

Arrange them into a pretty crust in a buttered baking dish.  Use the longer slices to line the edges. 

Sauté the green pepper and red onion, just for a few mintues. Fan them out over the potatoes.  You could really use any veggies here, I just happened to have the green pepper and red onion.  Spinach and red pepper would be good.  Or broccoli and kale. 

 

Wisk up the eggs in a small bowl.  Add the parmesan cheese.  Pour it over the potato crust and veggies.  Bake on 375 for about 30 minutes. 

That’s it!  I put this in the fridge to eat for dinner tomorrow after yoga.  Speaking of yoga class, yesterday I spent an hour and a half detoxifying my body through breathing and binding poses and then five minutes canceling it all out by eating lunch at the gas station immediately afterwards.  Talk about some yogi irony. 

Although I didn’t have one drop of Diet Coke this week, which is probably the first week I can say that since I was thirteen years old.

All in all, my January felt pretty productive.  I accomplished or made progress on 15 out of the 31 things on my list.  The only one I can cross out completely is “Watch Grey Gardens” (#20)—the others are still works in progress. Despite the gas station incident yesterday, the item I felt I made the most progress on was my yoga study. 

Although I can't make any promises, in February I'd like to tackle "Sharpen My Knives" (#14).  Because I like to set big goals.


-K.