Eminem Got it Wrong

November makes me want to stand around in the kitchen, make soup, drink wine, and listen to James Blake. And get reflective.  So here goes (minus the soup and wine, because it’s the morning and I’m just finishing my coffee). 

When I started my “31 things” project in January I wrote that it was a way to hold myself accountable for living the life of the person I want to be at this stage in my life. 

I wanted to do some grownup things like sharpen my knives and buy in bulk while upping my credibility as a true Cincinnatian by finally stepping foot inside the Krohn Conservatory.  I wanted to stretch myself to accomplish some of the life goals I may have otherwise put off for another decade like running a half marathon and joining Toastmasters.  At the same time, I wanted to improve my own well-being by studying yoga and learning how to “loosen up.”  Finally, I wanted to do things that would enrich my social life like joining a book club.

Alone, none of these things are life changing, but together they represent my attempt to live intentionally.

Now, I’ve never watched Oprah and I’m not one to read a lot of self-help books (unless Lean In counts as a self-help book, because I did read that one), so maybe there are better ways to approach this, but here is my general strategy for “living intentionally”. 

Step one:  Decide how you want your life to look and feel.  Notice that the verb is decide, not imagine.  Because there are lots of ways this could turn out.  Tradition and other social expectations might trick you into seeing one future, but there are many.  Pick the one that looks and feels the best for you. 

And don’t worry about making the wrong decision because you can always make a course correction.  Unless you’re 31 years old and realize that you probably should have gone to med school.  Because that ship has sailed. 

Step two:  List the things you need to add and subtract in order to live the life you’ve chosen. 

Subtraction is just as important as addition.  For me, eliminating the things that weren’t serving a purpose (Diet Coke) or that weren’t otherwise fulfilling (cable TV) made room for new things that I didn’t know I needed (H2O) or wanted (evenings spent listening to Johnny Cash albums). 

Step three:  Do it.

Don’t know what else to say about this one, except that coffee helps.  Turns out that water helps too, but I didn’t realize that until I gave up Diet Coke.  Carbs help.   

Step four:   Track it.  Measure it.  Talk about it.  I’m 81.45% of the way towards meeting the goals I set for myself this year.  Unless you’re a bona fide nerd like me you don’t have to use Excel charts and conditional formatting, but at least check in on your progress. 

There is no finish line because this is a process.  When you think you’re close to being done, celebrate with a few beers and then start over at Step #1.  Although Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” is one of my favorite songs, I have to disagree with his fundamental point.  It’s not true that you only get one shot, one opportunity to blow.  Every day is an opportunity. 

Now, it’s 11:30 AM and I’m still in my sweatpants so you might say I’m not exactly practicing what I’m preaching here, but I hope I made my general point. 

 

Now it’s time to put on some pants and get outside because the days are short and this year is flying by. 

 

-K.