#7) Update My Style

Sigh.  This is something I’m pretty lazy about.  Couple this with my tendencies towards being a cheapskate and you’ve got a pretty lackluster professional wardrobe. Most of my outfits fit squarely within a formula that goes like this: 

Banana Republic trouser pant + TJ Maxx top + random cardigan + sensible heel = passable work wear

The other half of my closet consists of what Donnie likes to call “Wow Wear” and is made up of items I salvaged from the Albuquerque Buffalo Exchange in 2005 and are now barely appropriate to wear in public on the weekends.  For an example, please refer to the embroidered hoodie I was wearing in my post about baking bread. 

This year I’ve been accumulating a few new pieces here and there to try to project a more stylish and polished image.  I’ve got a long way to go, but here’s a week’s worth of outfits, each of which include something I’ve picked up over the past few months.  Keep in mind this is after I started paying attention but before I can claim I’ve achieved any semblance of “style”.

Monday: olive blazer (Dillards outlet—thanks for the recommendation, Naomi!), blue and white striped shirt (Gap), black pants (Target), tan purse (TJ Maxx), snakeskin shoes (BCBG):

Tuesday: gray trouser pants (Banana Republic), red and black chevron top (Dillard’s Outlet), black cardigan (Banana Republic), black kitten heel (Nine West):

Wednesday: wrap dress (Loft), black tights (Target), black boots (Kenneth Cole):

Thursday: boho top (Jones New York), tan trouser pants (Banana Republic), brown peep-toe heels (Ann Taylor):

Casual Friday: Fossil jeans, black fleur de lis top (TJ Maxx), hounds tooth scarf (Target), white pinstriped blazer (?), red snakeskin kitten heels (Blandino):

The whole reason for this entry is that I don’t want to be a frumpy middle-aged women who wears the same five patterned tops on rotation.  It’s only through my Pinterest that I have an alternative to strive for.  Otherwise I’d be totally lost.  Like a twenty-two year-old wandering aimlessly through the Buffalo Exchange trying to pull off Mary-Kate Olsen's infamous grandma chic.  What I’ve noticed about the outfits I “repin” as a grown-ass woman is that the formula tends to go something like this:

bold pattern + blazer + unexpected contrast + form fitting + unique accessory = style!

I think I should stencil this formula on the back of my closet door.  So here’s the plan:  I’ll try to build on this pattern for the rest of the year and do another update once I feel like I’m making progress.  If you see me in the meantime and I’ve got on a bland pair of trouser pants and a cardigan, please remind me that THIS IS THE YEAR!

-K.

A Quarter-Year Crisis

One sign of being nearly middle aged is that you mark your year off in quarters.  Or maybe that’s just a sign of someone who works in a cubicle.  Either way, I’m nearly a quarter of the way through the year and I definitely have not accomplished a quarter of the items on my list. 

The problem is that yoga is taking up nearly all of my free time.  I had a stressful day at work on Friday and all I wanted to do was come home and practice doing handstands.  It occurred to me that either I’m a full-fledged weirdo or the benefits of yoga are really starting to sink in. 

I’ve finally mastered crow pose, and my next benchmark will be standing up in handstand without needing to use the wall for balance. 

By the way, Donnie is sick of me asking him to photograph me in these poses, but studying the photos really helps me to correct my form.  For example, look how my front foot is pointed all wrong in this warrior:

 

And this wall scorpion is horrendous:

 

It was also the final straw for Donnie who has more important things to do than take pictures of my yoga practice.  Like keep up with the search for Malaysian Air Flight 370.  Because, no, we have not yet cut off the cable (#31).    

I don't know what the search crew would do without him.

Anyway, the only downside to all this yoga is that the time I spend on it takes time away from other things I need to do, like spring clean and bake bread.   Which just stresses me out.  Which makes me need to do more yoga.  Which stresses me out.  Which makes me want to do more yoga. 

This is my life.

# 4)  Loosen Up:  Because yoga is so stressful, on Saturday I made use of a gift certificate that I had for a total body wrap from a local massage therapist. 

Is it weird that I asked her to take my picture?  It doesn't matter, because I can’t recommend this enough.  The wrap included a full body exfoliation and afterwards I felt like a new woman.  So even if I didn’t get around to spring cleaning the house, my knees and elbows look 100% better. 

#12) Entertain:  A few weeks ago, we hosted a little dinner party to celebrate Suzy’s new job.  I made asparagus and leek goat cheese soup, butternut squash and spinach lasagna, and salad.  This was the last meal for Sam and Suzy before they started a cleanse where they give up dairy, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, gluten.  Basically everything that makes life worth living.  For a month! 

Actually, I’m not that in to gluten.  If not for IPA and Trader Joes' whole wheat pitas I could probably do without it. 

I'm done entertaining for awhile because I'm tired of having my house clean all the time.  This means Zola's eighth birthday party is going to have to be at a restaurant or somewhere. 

#24) Start doing regular breast exams:  Okay, serious time.  I HATE this part.  Every now and then I’ll quickly feel myself up in the shower, but the truth is it makes me squeamish.  But this is the year to grow up and get over it.  At my last gyno exam, the doctor showed me how to do it correctly.  My takeaway is that it needs to be done at the end of every cycle, in a firm, circular patting motion.  Anything hard and pea-sized is a concern, but the fibrous tissue that’s there now is okay. 

Whew.  This makes me so nervous I was holding my breath the entire time I typed that paragraph.

I'm going to have to get up and do some handstands. 

#28) Finish A People’s History of the United States:  I’m 4% of the way through on my new Kindle.  Not 25% of the way through, like the calendar, but 4%.  Thanks, Kindle, for keeping me honest about my progress here.

#30) Give up Diet Coke:  Although my progress on #28 isn't going so well, check out his recycling box.  My Diet Coke to La Croix ratio is looking pretty good if I do say so myself: 

If You Can Read You Can Cook: Learn to Bake Bread

Yeah, yeah, it’s been two weeks.  Let me just say that since the last time I’ve checked in, I’ve officially crossed “open a bakery” off my list of career possibilities:

I used a recipe from Bob’s Red Mill, but don’t let my foul attempt scare you off from trying it yourself.  It wasn't Bob's fault.  My problem, which I realized too late, was that I used a ½ cup less of water than the recipe called for. 

 

This was somewhat out of character for someone who prides herself on being detail-oriented and meticulous in all aspects of daily living.  It is also strange because my grandma’s favorite kitchen saying is “if you can read you can cook.”   Sorry, Charma!

Speaking of my grandma, she would also not like how I had to set my mixing bowl on the floor to try to “knead” the dough.  There were probably dog hairs on the floor. 

Actually, there were most definitely dog hairs on the floor.

And I wasn’t quite sure what “kneading” was.  On the second round, I tried a different approach:

I have several takeaways.  First, follow directions.  Second, baking bread takes patience and it probably wasn’t wise to wait until 4:00 PM to start this, especially when you have a bedtime that hovers somewhere around 8:30.  Third, next time I should do a quick google video search for the terms “kneading bread” and “proof” before getting started.  

Although it may be true that if you can read you can cook, it is also true that if you can google you can do just about anything. 

Although the bread looked like a couple heads of rotten cauliflower, it didn’t taste half bad eaten in thick slices with avocado or covered in honey. 

But it wasn't great on its own:

This is a Legitimate Book Club

Rumor has it there is a book club in Hamilton that has been meeting for 10 years and has yet to read a book.  I’m not going to name any names, but you know who you are. 

This is not that kind of book club. 

I rushed home from work on Thursday to put together a little spread of fruit, veggies, cheese, and nuts.  Donnie took one look at it and said, “So …. we’re having snacks for dinner?”

Excuse me.  I didn’t know I was expected to host a proper book club and make Donnie a hot meal.  Let me take notes for next time.  

Or just flip him the bird. 

Anyway.  I had pre-printed a list of nine Book Thief discussion questions, most of which I found online:

The problem with the questions I found online is that none of them asked whether there was anything romantic about Liesel’s relationship with Max.  The lack of questions on this topic made me start to wonder whether there something wrong with me for assuming there was a bit of romantic tension between these two.  I’ve read enough Danielle Steele to know how one thing can lead to another.

(For the record, I’ve only read three Danielle Steele books in my life, but that’s enough to know how one thing can lead to another). 

We had eight people at the first edition of Books and Booze, and luckily most of us were happy to discuss the subtle points of Liesel’s love life.   But here’s what I love about book club:  had I not had these eight people over to discuss The Book Thief I would have finished it and set it on the shelf just wondering whether Liesel came of age and got it on with Max.  Instead, I had a grown-up conversation about the nature of guilt in a society with an unsavory moral foundation. 

We also covered Rudy as a Christ figure and the illusions to Dante’s Inferno, both of which came courtesy of a class Donnie once took called “The Bible as Literature.”  Although I am always a bit skeptical about his biblical references because he only earned a “B” in that class. 

Before everybody left, I gave each person a description of six options for the next book club and asked them to rate their interest in reading each one on a scale of 1-5.  Zadie Smith’s NW was the clear winner and will be up next.  Unfortunately, my top choice (The Omnivore’s Dilemma) came in dead last.  Apparently people want to have their meat and eat it too, but hey no judgment here.    

My takeaway from all this is that attending a book club is probably one of the classiest things you can do.  Until all hell breaks loose and people start rolling around on the living room floor.  If this doesn't make you want to come to the next Books and Booze I don't know what will: